Keep Bush On
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7782422.stm
While the US has suffered greatly under its most irresponsible and inept presidency in recent memory, the Bush administration is finally beginning to turn out some real gold. There was the EU conference where no European leader would look Bush in the eye (let alone shake his hand) as they marched out for a photo op, his kissing Barbara Streisand on the cheek while she was a White House guest, and an assortment of other travails linked to the Obama transition, like his refusal to let the Obamas move into a White House satellite residence so the girls could go to DC schools. Since the election, the Onion have latched onto Bush’s vulnerability by running a series of macabre/humorous “In Brief” stories in which the president inevitably ends up “resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital’. I think they’re on to something.
I therefore propose that Bush be kept on as honorary “Pressident”, a new position without any power but which gives regular press conferences. The running gag would be that Bush has to answer for real-world events as though his administration were still in office. While this framework might be more or less true for the next 50 years, it will be easier to swallow with Bush still on the spot. Accordingly, apart from national pain mitigation, the other reason for keeping him on would be punishment. Bush would have no choice. He’d have to give press conferences for anyone at any time, from Cindy Sheehan to Al Gore, from to Campbell Brown to the ghost of Tim Russert (via a seance).
Questions like “Why did you send cholera to Zimbabwe?” and “Though you have alwlays denied being a Nazi war criminal, do these recently disclosed documents refresh your memory at all [waves a stapled wad of papers]?” would have to be fielded with a straight face, or Bush would have to answer it again until he got it right.
Either that, or Bush gets sent to El Paso to clear brush for a new trans-border highway without any passport or check stations. He sure loves clearing brush. Maybe it’s because his name is Bush! Or maybe because he thinks he’s making a difference.
